Research performed by me, therefore making said research… questionable. (Photo courtesy of 1.bp.blogspot.com)
Long time, no see! So far, my summer has been what could be best described as a sucky whirlwind, and I haven’t been on my computer in a week… Every day I was like, I want to pooooooost!!! But anyway…
There are a lot of studies out there that suggest that listening to classical music makes young children smarter. Some people play classical pieces before a baby even gets out of the womb. Although the validity is questionable, parents still obsess about the possibility of making their kid smart. After all, a little Mozart never hurt anyone, right?
So classical=good. Even more studies suggest that hard-rock and rap are bad for the brain development of any organism. Including plants. I can see where this would make sense, although the plant thing really gets me.
I often think about the role of music in my childhood. Here’s how it went: Mom would put me in my carseat, then insert a cassette in the tape-y hole-y thingy. It was always Creed, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, or Lord of the Dance (which is Celtic music). We would ride around in all our 90s glory. Before I reached kindergarten, I knew the lyrics to all of our tapes, and got into the habit of pretending to strum a guitar on the various straps of my car seat (shoulder strap= guitar neck, waist strap=strings… I was an imaginative child). So I was thinking, Whelp, I listened to this stuff as a little kid. It’s no Bach, but it’s not disturbing either. And hey, not to toot my own horn, but I turned out pretty darn well!
These are the answers to all of our problems, folks. It’s science in all its glory. Here is a playlist of the songs I distinctly remember from my early childhood. Please continue my research, and make children listen to them. If you don’t have a child living in your house, sneak over to your neighbor’s, put some speakers in the windows, and fly from there. After watching your test subject for ten years, report back here and we’ll take a look at your data.
“Blue on Black” by Kenny Wayne Shepherd
When I was little, I always wanted to get inside the TV and play with all the cartoon characters. Of course, that was impossible, so I had to just act along in front of the TV. Like role-playing. That’s what lonely, only children do.
In the chorus, there’s a line that goes, Whisper on a scream/Doesn’t change a thing/Doesn’t bring you ba-aaaaack/Blue on black. Except it really sounds like Picture on a screen instead of Whisper on a scream. I interpreted this to mean that if I went into a TV show (the picture on the screen), I would be stuck there forever and never see my family again. Let me tell you, that about scared the living daylights out of me. And I never, ever wished that I could enter the cartoon world again. Okay, maybe I secretly did, but I kept a good distance away from the screen.
This is what I learned from Kenny: TVs are evil, and you should never wish to live in a fictional world.
“My Own Prison” by Creed
I was listening to the radio a few weeks ago, and this song came on. My ears were all, Whoa! I know you, but I don’t remember your name! I did a simple Google search on the lyrics, and wanted to cry with sentimentality, because this song was my whole entire toddler life!
As mentioned, my mother raised me on Creed. Now I get it. A lot of people make jokes about Creed, and I never understood why. So once again, I Googled “why do people make fun of Creed.” Basically, most people talked about how they think Creed copy-catted from all the cool grunge bands I discussed in an earlier post, but made the music more “mainstream” and “listener-friendly.” That makes sense I guess. Also, there’s the whole Scott-Stapp-is-Christian-except-not-always thing. See, he made all these songs with Christian-related lyrics, then I guess people dissed them, then he kinda tried to take it back so he didn’t seem goody-goody. Or something like that. Whatever. I still like Creed.
Beautiful song. I never realized how faith-y it was when I was little, but faith is cool and I don’t mind at all.
“Creep” by Stone Temple Pilots
Okay, so this one wasn’t as prominent in my childhood, but involved me cutely misinterpreting the lyrics… again. The part that goes Take time with a wounded hand/Cause it likes to heal/Take time with a wounded hand/Cause it likes to steal always made me think that if I ever hurt my hand, like broke it or something, it might unleash some evilness in me that would make me want to steal from people. That made me afraid, so I made sure to not break my arm. Or steal. Thanks STP. You made me the good person I am today… I guess…
“Panama City” by Guns N’Roses
And just for a last laugh…
When I was little, my parents took me to the zoo each year. One of my favorite animals was the prairie dogs. They were so cute because they would pop out of these little holes in the ground and look at me with their rodent eyes. I loved prairie dogs, so naturally, I thought the lyrics to the song were “Take me down to that prairie dog city.” Also, I didn’t know about geography at that age, so I didn’t know Panama was even a thing. Then my mom explained the song to me and how it wasn’t about prairie dogs, and that made it less fun.
As I look back at this list, I’m starting to see my scientific research unfolding. I was a rockin’ toddler, and this is the formula to make cool children. It just so happened that I became smart too. Yay science!
Rock on kiddos! 😉
The Saturday Morning List 